Take Yourself on a Date

Take Yourself on a Date

Do you remember your first date?  Remember how excited you were?  

When that day came, you had butterflies in your stomach, and you excitedly thought about what you would wear.  Perhaps you even went shopping to pick out the perfect outfit.  Then you had to decide which shoes, jewelry, and accessories would match your clothes, or bring out the tone of your eye color?  It was all part of the experience, right?  You wanted to look nice for that special person.  Even more so, you wanted to feel beautiful!    You wanted to present yourself in a way that the special person you would be spending the evening with could get a good first impression of the person you are on the inside, as well as the outside.

The simple reality of this is when you are happy with yourself, with your look, and with the first impression you are giving, you carry yourself a little differently.  You carry yourself with more confidence. Your posture is more positive and outward, rather than pulling yourself and your posture inward.  People are attracted to self confidence, and self confidence comes when you feel great about who “you” are.  When you feel great about who “you” are, you are not afraid to put yourself out there; whether it be for a date, or for a job interview, or a speaking engagement.

Have you ever considered the fact that when you get up in the morning and get yourself ready for the day, you are actually getting ready for a “date” with yourself?  You are going to be spending the day with “you”.  How do you feel about that?  When you look in the mirror, do you think, “I look forward to spending my day with her/him”!  Why or why not?  

When you are getting dressed, doing your hair, picking out your accessories, why not pick out an outfit that makes you feel good that day, or pick out a scarf that makes your eye color pop!  Because after all, you are spending the day with that person in the mirror!  Pamper her by making her feel like a princess!  Perhaps you wake up feeling a little sassy?   Go with that!  Be a tiny bit sassy with your choice of outfit for the day!  You see, your process of getting ready in the morning can be a creative process, in which you get to pick how you want to present yourself for the day.  Do you want to go with comfy, or perhaps sassy, or maybe a little edgy?  It’s all good, but go with it!  This is part of your daily self care!  You are worth the time and the effort, and if you want to splurge once in awhile and buy yourself a nice outfit for your next date with “you”….you are totally worth it!  

Sometimes, you are required to present yourself in a certain way.  You may have to wear a uniform to work, for example.  If this is the case, you can still pamper yourself by enhancing your required look/attire with accessories that will still make you feel unique, and tell the world a little bit about yourself, without having to say a word!  You can fit in…..and stand out at the same time!

For many years, I did not like who I saw in the mirror and I did not relish the idea of spending my day with her.  I would throw on the first thing I came to in my closet (sometimes the same thing as the day before).  Preferably, that thing would be something pajama like, and would not show even a tiny bit of the body underneath, that I hated.  

It took years for me to change my opinion of myself.  I was ill with a chronic autoimmune issue, spent my days at home alone, and felt like a nobody.  But I began to realize that I was the only one who could change that.   I began a long journey of self discovery, self acceptance, and finally self love.  Something that helped me tremendously was to tell myself that no matter how I felt when I woke up, I was going to get up, get dressed, as if I were going on a “date” with myself.  I was going to pamper that person in the mirror and I was going to make her feel special and beautiful.  Because, darn it, I was determined to not look as tired as I felt.  Sometimes vanity is a good thing!

Keeping these things in mind has made a huge difference in my life.  I realize that it should not totally be about what I look like on the outside.  But if I am going to be real with myself….and we all need to be real and honest and accepting of our true selves….it’s important to me to feel pretty.  When I feel good about the outfit I chose for the day, or when I have a really good hair day, or if I have chosen a look that reflects my mood that day….it makes me feel great.  When I feel great on the outside, I also feel great on the inside.   It’s ok to pamper yourself.  It’s not self – ish.  It’s self – care.

Here are some facts to keep in mind as you get ready for your next date with you!

1) Self Pampering improves mental and physical health.

“People who are able to comfort themselves have a better immune response to stress, so they don’t get as anxious, especially in social situations,” says Kristin Neff, Ph.D., associate professor of human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin, who’s conducted extensive research on the trait. “They also have less body-wide inflammation, better immunity—they get fewer colds and headaches, for example.” (1)

2) Researchers at Bishop’s University in Quebec found that when you learn to be kind to yourself, you will also eat healthier, exercise more, and sleep better!

3)You can change your look without having to change your body.

Free Lance Writer Sally McGraw writes, “Making changes to your wardrobe and style can affect how you view your body, even if your body itself hasn't changed. Throwing on a skirt that works with your curves instead of against them allows you to embrace those curves. Slipping on a fantastic pair of boots can illustrate that those legs are damned fine just as they are. Finding styles, colors and textures that enhance your natural assets can help you see how gorgeous you are right now -- and have been all along. Just by changing the clothing, shoes and accessories that adorn your body, you can change your relationship with that body for the better. Minus the oppressive workout plan, restrictive diet and nip/tuck.” (2)

4) You Get to Choose! 

Free lance writer Sally McGraw also writes, “You get to choose what to express and what to hide, what to display and what to mask. It's a lot of power, don't you think? Since you've got to get dressed anyway, why not take the opportunity to broadcast a few key pieces of information about yourself to the observing world? Doing so can build pride and confidence, establish your uniqueness and help you decide which aspects of your inner life you'd like to highlight and share. (3)

5) The Look Good – Feel Good Connection 

Free lance writer Sally McGraw goes on to say , “Caring about how you present your physical self to the world makes you more present in your body. Presence in your body feeds itself, creating more care. The cycle of self-care feeding self-love, creating more self-care allows you to broadcast a profile of self-respect and power. It reminds you that you can control how you feel about yourself. And that's powerful good stuff.” (4)

MY CALL TO ACTION TO YOU is for you to think of tomorrow as “a date with yourself!”  

Before you go to bed tonight, think about your activities for the day.  Try to think of one thing you can do to treat or pamper yourself.  Perhaps you might leave 15 minutes earlier for work, and stop to treat yourself to your favorite coffee drink.  Whatever you choose… put some thought into it, just as you would if you were planning a date with your significant other.  Plan your outfit and lay out your clothes.  Choose a fun accessory and shoes.  Go ahead and make a statement.  Wear it proudly!

You are worth every minute, every thought, every dime that you spend on yourself.  When you love you, and show the world that you love you…..your world will change….I promise!

I’d love to hear your comments about this and I’d love to hear about your next date with “You”!

(1) Quote taken from SHAPE Magazine,” 5 Reasons to Pamper Yourself”, by Mirel Ketchiff

(2)  (3) ( 4)    Quotes taken from Huffpost Online, Issue 12/7/2017, by Free Lancer Write Sally McGraw